I’m a nice guy that’s why you broke up with me.

Sorry, long time readers will know I have a tendency to quote hip hop lyrics with no context from time to time. Anywho, I just want to tell you guys that I’m a nice guy that likes long walks on the beach and talking about my feelings.

I’m so nice that I would absolutely let you pick the restaurant on the first date; I wouldn’t even care if you opted for a vegetarian place.

Especially if it was as good as Green Gourmet in Newtown.

Satay Skewers

Satay Skewers

Yes, I attended a vegetarian restaurant for the second time in a month. I’ve actually been here before but it was before I could grow facial hair so it didn’t count.

I came here with one of my vegetarian friends and she was incredibly excited. She was behaving the same way I would if I was granted backstage access to a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. She was just happy that she could select anything on the menu and not restricted to a section tinier than Jabba the Hutt’s list of dietary restrictions.

We started with satay skewers. My friend told me that she hadn’t had a satay skewer in over three years.

It didn’t have that rubbery texture you occasionally come across when you sample faux meat and the satay sauce that was drizzled over it was pretty great. Our other dining companion actually said it tasted like chicken and did not mean it as a joke.

Vegetarian Peking Duck with radish, carrots, cucumber and oyster sauce

Vegetarian Peking Duck with radish, carrots, cucumber and oyster sauce

Pancakes

Pancakes

Vegetarian peking duck?

Non-meat eaters everywhere just started salivating. I have no idea what ingredients were utilised to concoct this dish but bravo to the food scientists behind this discovery. Until they cure cancer, this might be one of the greatest scientific discoveries made for a while.

The pancakes were nice and soft but not to the point in which they started breaking apart as you wrapped up the content.

The duck was incredibly crispy. Not wafer thin crispy like you’d get with normal Peking duck, but more like a particularly large chip from Kettle’s. It was a tad dry but that was covered up by the vegetable trio and sauce.

Real talk? This would make a good dish anywhere but it is elevated to deity status when you can’t have anything with meat in it.

Tofu and eggplant in a clay pot.

Tofu and eggplant in a clay pot.

It may not look like much but I assure you that this was absolutely delicious.

Hey man, if everyone was shallow then I’d never get a date. I don’t date (I gave up hot chicks to write about hot food) but still.

The flavours in this melting pot were just out of this world (seriously, I think these noodles were imported from whichever planet Michelin Star restaurants kidnap their chefs). The eggplant was divine and full of flavour. Eggplant’s a great source of protein so it’s absolutely vital for a vegetarian restaurant to make eggplant well. I can confirm that Green Gourmet passes that test with flying colours.

Braised fresh river noodle with 'beef'

Braised fresh river noodle with ‘beef’

I eat a lot of flat rice noodles at home because it’s rather inexpensive and easy to make. As long as you have a decent wok, you can make restaurant quality noodles pretty well. Or you can be a dude who buys all the ingredients, places them in the fridge and hopes that his mother gets the hint.

This was a fine rendition of one of my all time favourite dishes. The ‘wok hei’ (wok’s breath) was ever present and all the flavours were just in perfect harmony. The faux beef proved to be most deceptive of all and it almost fooled me into thinking that it was actual beef.

Passionfruit cheesecake and rose vanilla tofu ice cream.

Passionfruit cheesecake and rose vanilla tofu ice cream.

Green Gourmet’s calling card is it’s tofu ice cream. They offer a myriad of flavours and the ice cream itself is so good (I swear this was an accidental soy pun). I opted for the rose vanilla flavour and it tasted like what would happen if I fell over face first into the royal botanical gardens. It was incredibly fresh and proved to be a great palette cleanser.

The cheesecake…and I don’t mean to sound cheesy but I would gobble that thang up like there was no tomorrow. Passionfruit flavour was great and straddled the line of sweet and diabetic perfectly.

***

Here’s the TL;DR for all of the other Childish Gambino fans that read iFat (all three of you)

- She didn’t break up with me cause I’m nice, she did it twice.

- I had El Jannah’s for lunch prior to my vegetarian dinner. My body wasn’t completely mad at me because of that.

- Faux meat is no one’s foe.

Green Gourmet, Newtown

115 King Street, Newtown

Open 7 days
Lunch 12 – 3pm (Mon – Sun)
Dinner 6 – 10pm (Sun – Thur)
6 – 11pm (Fri & Sat)

Green Gourmet on Urbanspoon

 

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