When I think KFC, I think eating 12 wicked wings at a time, a large serving of chips and a tub of pure gravy…and demolishing this smorgasbord of deep fried delicacies in a stained t-shirt and sometimes with no pants on.

I do not think fine dining, waiters dressed to the nines or a floating feature light that looks like a drumstick.

And yet, here we are….at KFC Degustation; headlined by culinary genius Nelly Robinson of Nel Restaurant.

Disclaimer: I was invited to this event by the team over at KFC but all opinions are still my own.

I don’t usually comment on things like decor (I am the guy who has about 14 Funko Pops of Dragon Ball Z and Star Wars characters in my office) but I loved how formal and stylish the digs were. This is not your atypical neighbourhood KFC and the menu that I was about to get stuck in wasn’t your standard fare either.

Alright, enough pre-amble. Let’s get into the food.

Mallow me to get things going by breaking down the most unusual burger I’ve ever been served. More tomato marshmallow than typical original filet burger, the soft marshmallow tasted like a burst of tomato (minus the juice) but topped off the crumbs you’d usually find at the bottom of your greasy KFC bucket.

If that doesn’t sound appealing to you then you don’t love KFC the way I do.

One of the great things about this menu is that it’s for the fans.

This isn’t just for someone looking to go to the brand new fancy spot, this is for the people that bleed gravy, this is for the people that cried when they heard about a wicked wing shortage, this is for the people that write on KFC’s Instagram to bring back Golden Gaytime Krushers on a daily basis and this is for the people that think Supercharged sauce is a top 5 condiment of all time.

I should probably elaborate. Each menu item retained something from a core KFC menu item and in this case, the Zinger is exactly as you know it but elevated by the sheer craft of Chef Nelly. The potato pillow is crunchy and the perfect vessel to house the fan favourite Zinger fillet.

What a time to be alive.

These wings were beyond wicked. They arrived at the table and were immediately lit on fire. Doused with a bit of smokey seasoning and KFC’s legendary Supercharged sauce; this quickly became one of my favourite dishes of the night.

Please don’t try and recreate this at home with a Zippo and ketchup, you’ve been warned.

Culinary creativity at its absolute finest. We were presented a fairly innocent looking candle when we first sat down on our table not knowing that it would form a key part of our fourth course.

The candle was made completely of chicken fat and a waiter waited until it had become a pool of liquid gold before adding some KFC gravy on top. I proceeded to dunk the potato bun into the combination like I was Vince Carter in the 2000 NBA Dunk Contest.

What an ambitious crossover. Meaty slices of kingfish seasoned with Zinger salt; the absolute madmen. Remember a couple of paragraphs ago when I said the Supercharged wings were my favourite course?

I lied, this one was. I just love how a flavour we’re so familiar with was used to elevate the sheer enjoyment factor of the kingfish. An absolute marvel…and I’m not talking about Iron Man.

Full disclosure: I was very confused when this dish arrived. Not quite 2D but the food was so flat on the plate that I was tempted to bust out a classic Zoolander quote wondering if this was a plate for ants.

But I was quickly told that the most optimal way to eat this would be lick everything off the plate. We have gone from finger lickin’ good to plate lickin’ good.

This is the dish that I’d want to recreate at home the most. Because it was tasty and because I think my 4/10 cooking skills could actually muster up a solid imitation.

It’s also the dish I could easily see me having 11 servings of in one sitting as well, so moreish and went down a treat (favourite aspect of this was the sun dried tomato).

The following paragraph should be read in the tune of the poet Jack Harlow’s What’s Poppin:

What’s poppin’? Brand new soup just hopped in.

I’ve got options, I could pass this into my mouth like Stockton.

Just joshin’, Im’ma spend this entire post locked in.

This soup is the opposite of toxins.

Degustation, top ten

No gold medals on my trophy case, but at least I can say I’ve had a KFC drumstick laden with gold before.

Is it too early to get a tombstone made with that insignia?

I don’t associate KFC with dessert much like I don’t associate Balenciaga with affordable fashion yet here we are.

I don’t say this lightly but this might be one of my favourite dessert items I’ve had in recent memory, it’s the fact that Chef Nelly and his team turned a KFC chip into the crispiest potato wafer topping. Adored the wattle seed ice cream and the hit of pineapple as well.

Gorgeous (should be read in Owen Wilson’s voice).

KFC’s chocolate mousse reimagined and remixed for your eating pleasure. Just rich, decadent with a bit of snap, crackle and pop brought to you by the some popping candy.

Oh and the smoke? It’s because this dessert is fire.

I think the reason this was the last dessert was as much symbolic as it was about taste.

This is a flex, this is an overt way to know that they KRUSHED it.

…I’ll see myself out.

TL;DR for everyone that thinks this is an elaborate April Fool’s joke

• You can reserve a spot on this website. Looks like there’s quite a waitlist but gotta be in it to win it.
• This is for KFC aficionados, lovers of fast food and people who want a rollicking good time with fried chicken.
• Fry me a river….yeah, just had that joke ready and nowhere to put it so here it is.