I know most of you come here to read about food but let me talk about movies real quick.

I don’t have time to watch a tonne of movies anymore. I used to work in a cinema so I would watch snippets of movies all the time. Combine that with the fact that employees could watch movies for free, I watched a tonne of stuff on the big screen. Nowadays, I’m surprised when something I want to see comes out. Godzilla snuck up on me, Amazing Spiderman 2’s quick release befuddled me and Bad Neighbours moved in really quickly.

Speaking of neighbours, you know who isn’t a bad neighbour? Three Williams cafe in Redfern.

Explanation: I’ve just moved offices and the Food Gods decided it was time iFat was located right next to a cafe. I went three times in my first week just so I could write an incredibly comprehensive review. Spoiler alert: I’m probably going to go three times next week as well.

My co-workers visited Three Williams in the morning and told me that the coffee was pretty amazing. Due to the fact that I have trust issues built up over years of lies from my parents (I’m still recovering from Santa being just some dude with a fake beard), I had to see for myself it the coffee lived up to the hype.

The coffee had quite a kick to it. I took a sip prior to stirring up the condensed milk and felt like I could run a marathon without sweating immediately afterwards. Neither flavour was overpowering and there was an equilibrium between the two.

Three Williams’ signature Narnies get their name from the home made naan bread used to house the incredibly tasty filling. It’s not as charred as the naan bread you get in Indian restaurants and the thickness keeps it from falling apart. It’s also incredibly soft which was great as each bite I took was just pure joy. Three Williams is quite generous with the prawns as there and I loved how well the tsatziki went with it.

This narnie was so good that I just had to have another one the very next day.

But first:

I haven’t had a milkshake this good since my visit to Shake Shack in January. First of all, the cup was filled to the brim unlike some other establishments that only give you half a cup of subpar milkshake. This was an optimist’s cup on display. The dominant flavour in this milkshake was definitely the peanut butter. It had a subtle sweetness to it and the salty aspect you associate with peanut butter was diluted. It was a liquefied dessert and I slurped it all up faster than when I sprinted through the marathon after that coffee the other day.

There was just so much in play and the synergy was perfect. First of all, you have some incredibly slaw topped off with a tasty, but light, chipotle mayo. The ingenuity of the pickle for a sour dynamic was much appreciated by all of my taste buds who roared with delight.

I have to quote the great rap poet, 50 Cent, in order to fully illustrate how good this brisket is.

“I’ll melt in your mouth, girl and not in your hand” – 50 Cent – Candyshop (2005).

We’re not even close to done yet:

I recently read that Three Williams’ chips were a contender for best chips in Sydney. I’ve heard some fraudulent claims, the most obvious one being Amanda Bynes declaring herself the man back in 2006 but I digress. My expectations for these chips were higher than the expectations my parents had for me going into the HSC. Fortunately, that’s where the comparison ends as these chips performed way above expectations.

The chips were incredibly crunchy and retained the crunch even after we’d let them sit for a while. However, the real star of the show was the home made aioli. There’s a hint of lemon zest throughout the dipping sauce that I enjoyed immensely.

These were awful.

Jokes, I just have nothing bad to say about Three Williams so I thought I’d mix it up a bit. The insides of these croquettes were incredibly fluffy and delicious; juxtaposed with the crunchy outsides and you’ve got yourself another winner.

Last dish!

I don’t go out for brunch much due to the fact that I work full time and I have lunch really early on off days so I can sneak a nap in before noon. Those two factors combined means that I very rarely get to witness egg porn. Being blissfully unaware of what I had gotten myself into, I took a huge bite of this burger and the egg yolk exploded all over me like *CENSORED*

Other than the tasty egg oozing all over my hands, the bacon was incredibly crispy. Bacon, whilst always delicious, is often screwed up in a lot of restaurants. Too chewy, not crispy enough, not including it with everything are just a few things that can go wrong. I’m glad Three Williams nailed this breakfast porn sandwich (heh).

Here’s the TL; DR for everyone wondering when this review would end:

– Does anyone want to go watch X-Men Days of Future Past with me? No? That’s cool, I didn’t want to see it with you anyway.

– You never say nah to a narnie.

– The milkshake seriously does bring all the boys to the yard.

***

– Egg yolk is still dripping off my fingers like *CENSORED*

Three Williams, Redfern

613a Elizabeth Street, Redfern

Opening Hours:

Open 7 days: 7:00am – 4:00pm

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