Do you remember when I told you guys I was on a low-carb diet?

Well, if that was a relationship then I am a serial adulterer. I mean, it’s incredibly hard to stay loyal to one cereal when there’s Crunch Nut, Nutri Grain and Cocoa pops all looking at me seductively as they sit on their shelves.

It’s been hard.

There’s been pizza, pasta, ramen, burgers and anything fried.

This is why I’m not a committed relationship (along with a plethora of personality flaws but still).

Here comes another mistress in the form of a hot new bakery named The Dough Collective.

((Disclaimer: I was invited to this media event by Polka Dot PR but the views and opinions in this blog are strictly my own. They did not ask me to be unfaithful to my diet)

The Dough Collective is a brand new bakery/coffee shop located on George Street opposite Event Cinemas in the city. Yep, your nostrils are going to have a field day as lefty takes in the aroma of freshly popped popcorn and righty indulges itself in the perfume of bread fresh from the oven.

You know how I know the Dough Collective and I are meant to be?

This was the first thing I saw when I walked into the store:

I looked around and saw crusty puns all over the place. For the record, I laughed at every single one but then sunk once I realised I had absolutely no material for the blog that would follow.

No matter, I always rise to the occasion.

I was invited to the Dough Collective as part of a media contingent. We were told that we’d be having some hands-on fun in the form of a little baking.

Uh oh, my baking experience consists of microwaving pizza so I was terrified of accidentally lighting a poor baker on fire.

Let’s see how it went:

We were given a rundown on the philosophy of The Dough Collective. It prides itself on being a unique bakery that offers more than your traditional sultana with not much sultana loaf. They offer bread with premium ingredients from around the world.

And they want me to bake? Oh no, this is like giving someone on their learner’s permit a Ferrari.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t burn the place down and my dough turned out ok. Sorry to all the people who placed bets at TAB anticipating me accidentally hitting someone across the head with a rolling pin.

Let’s move on before I burn this packet of Starburst I’m munching on.

I’m a voyeur when it comes to restaurants. I love seeing the chefs display their artistry. The process of raw ingredients coming alive and onto your plate is absolutely mesmerising. I love how there’s window into the lives of these two master bakers (yep, I stole that one) as they put buns in the oven (stole that one too).

In terms of sampling these buns (heh), I actually made my way around the store and tried every single loaf that offered a sample.

I lead a hard life.

Here are some of my favourites:

These were my favourite sweet buns and my second favourite overall. These are incredibly addictive because I made two visits to sample these and took two of these buns home. The Dough Collective uses Belgium chocolate and the bread is soft enough for you to fall asleep on.

That’s a winning combination.

I should have mentioned this earlier but I’m the boss here and you can’t tell me what to do. Anywho, the sweet buns are available earlier in the morning and more savoury products become available as the day draws nearer to lunch time. I believe that the Dough Collective will be releasing a timetable soon so you don’t get left out in the blistering cold for four hours only to be told no.

This was nuts.

Sorry, had to.

The dough on this bad boy was amazingly soft; then the bakers decide to throw some nuts in there to throw you off and put your mouth through an unexpected journey to Tasty-Town.

Can I set up residence in Tasty-Town? Is there a taste test I have to take?

Full disclosure: I left the store and immediately devoured one of these in about four bites. The bread used for the hot dog seems to be quite different from the bread utilised for the other loafs. The bread was a lot crispier and accentuated the nice texture of the sausage it encased. This is definitely an upgrade over the sausage sizzle you get on Election Day.

Now for my absolute favourite:

Hey pumpkin, you look creamy today.

This was my absolute favourite because of how ingenious simple it was. Why haven’t I ever thought of fusing cream cheese and pumpkin together? The texture is amazing as you tear away at this roll and savouring every bite like you’re making out with the girl you’ve had a crush on since third grade. You know what I’m talking about: the satisfaction of accomplishment, the flavour and the triumphant emotions that just swell through every fiber of your being…..damn.

Just damn.

Here’s the TL; DR for everyone:

– You know what The Dough Collective and I have in common? We’re both bread-winners.

– I’m glad I can go to bed with no arson charges on my permanent record.

– Go and sample everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

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