If you have a look at what Hollywood is coming up with outside of comic book movies, you’ll be thoroughly disappointed.

We have remakes, prequels, sequels, sequels to prequels and movies trying to convince us that Kevin James is a movie star. We also have weird combinations coming up like Godzilla vs King Kong….yes, it sounds awesome but it sounds like something I would’ve come up with as I was playing with my toys as a kid.

So you can imagine my confusion when the homies were like: “Yo, Salmon and Bear on Sunday?”

I thought they wanted me to watch a weird fish out of water story (heh) featuring a salmon having an unlikely friendship with a bear.

My mistake.

(Disclaimer: I was invited to dine as a guest of Salmon and Bear. However opinions (and puns) are still my own)

Having established themselves as a force to be reckoned with in Zetland, the crew at Salmon and Bear have opened up another restaurant in Newtown and brought all their seafood delights.

Let’s take a look at some of the catches we made on the day.

I generally prefer sashimi style salmon but I’m a changed man after digging into this cut of char grilled king salmon. Seasoned and cooked perfectly, ever flake of salmon is adorned with love from the grilling process that you can taste.

Oh and the sweet potato fries are crunchy morsels of potatoes so sweet that they buy you presents on days they don’t even have to.

I scoffed when someone said we should get the poke bowl cause I had like 67 Ultra balls at the time but had to check myself when this bowl arrived.

Think about this dish like someone went grocery shopping with the mindset of making sushi but then got too lazy to put it altogether. Generous amounts of  avocado and salmon make up about a third of this bowl.

Loved all the flavours and how fresh it was. It was so fresh like a pop music CD from the early 2000’s.

What’s the difference between fish and a piano?

You can’t tuna fish.

I stole that joke from an episode of Dragon Ball Z and I wish I could’ve stolen a few more bites of this tuna bowl before my dining buddies cleaned it out but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Kimchi was the main flavour here and that was a bit unexpected. It’s like when you went to see GI Joe 2 and was surprised that Channing Tatum was only in the movie for ten minutes after he was involved in all of the marketing.

Heh, bearger.

One of the few places that cook a fish burger without deep frying the bejesus out of Nemo, the salmon burger is super satisfying to eat. The crunchy lettuce, sour pickles, creamy aioli and the smoky nature of the salmon work together in harmony.

If only eHarmony worked as well.

….not that I know anything about how eHarmony works.

Two options.

Just have a close look at the picture and you can get a decent breakdown of all the delicious fillings that go into making a taco at Salmon & Bear.

Or I can tacobout it for a half-decent paragraph featuring a punchline.

You want option number two? I’m glad you asked.

Though the base of every taco was the same (corn tortilla and salad), each had very distinct flavours brought on by their marquee players (the meat component). Try and imagine Will Smith taking Keanu Reeves’ place in The Matrix movies. Even if the script was exactly the same, the two versions of the film would be completely different. Now take out Will Smith and plug in Jackie Chan…another completely different cinematic experience.

So if I was to rank the tacos I would go Glazed Salmon (Keanu Reeves), Crispy Prawn (Will Smith) and last but far from least Crispy Fish (Jackie Chan).

Good God that barely made sense but neither will going to Salmon and Bear and not getting some tacos.

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Here’s the TL;DR for everyone else who’s wondering if my taco paragraph was slightly racist:

– Salmon and bear is great for my diet as I’ve always been on a see-food diet.

– Grilled salmon is more like kingfish because eating it made me feel like royalty.

– There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but few will be tastier than what the chefs at Salmon and Bear can cook up.

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Salmon and Bear, Newtown

226 King Street

Opening Hours:

Monday -Thursday: 5:30-10pm
Friday -Saturday: 12-4pm, 5:30pm-late
Sunday: 12-4pm; 5:30-10pm