Once upon a time, I sucked with girls (let’s pretend I don’t currently suck with girls right now for this story’s sake).

I had no idea what I was doing and there were many factors outside of my control that weren’t helping either.

Factors like walking around with less confidence in myself than a baby with a full nappy, spending way too much money on Magic the Gathering, not learning how to drive until I was 20 and the bright red acme that lived all over my face didn’t help either.

Speaking of, I went to Acme recently and I was more than ok with the food being all over my face.

Named after its four founders (Andy, Cam, Mitch and Ed), Acme is one of Sydney’s most unique eateries featuring pasta inspired by Asian, Italian and everything else in between cuisines. It may not be authentic but it is quite delicious. The dishes are all created to be shared so it’s an excellent place to take someone who is willing to recreate the spaghetti scene from The Lady and the Tramp.

I was joined by the lovely annachaannn and we had the best seat in the house (right by the window). This allowed us to watch the eclectic population of King’s Cross/Rushcutters Bay area just saunter by our perch; a collection of pimps, strippers, party animals and owners/staff of convenience stores that are open 24/7.

We didn’t just people watch, we watch what we ate too.

Have a look:

Enoki mushrooms weren’t in our notes due to the fact that Acme changes its menu on the whims of whatever’s in season and if the kitchen feels like doing something a little different.

This was something a little different in a good way. Imagine French fries made with long strands of mushroom and voila, that’s what we had the pleasure of sinking our teeth into. Crunchy on the outside, soft and stringy on the inside. The togarashi sprinkled on top was just the spicy cherry on top.

I might’ve misheard someone who once said the abalone sandwiches at Acme were awesome. I might’ve also booked my trip to Acme just to have those abalone sandwiches and I might’ve also exclaimed “oh sick, pink abalone sandwiches” when the sandwiches arrived on our table.

Or I might’ve just made that baloney up.

Anywho, the baloney sandwiches were awesome. The buns were nice and warm and there was a huge amount of baloney in between the soft buns. The real star of the show was the tomato sauce as it adds a bit of heat to every bite, it’s like wearing a V-neck sweater on a day that’s about 19 degrees since it’s not cold enough for a coat but the warmth of a sweater is much appreciated.

Yeah, that was a bit of a stretch.

Psyche, I got abalone after all.

The Asian influence was strong in this one with the presence of abalone and XO sauce (one of the iFat family’s favourite condiments). What jumped out at me was how soft and tender the abalone was. I’m accustomed to hacking away at abalone with a blunt butter knife then vigorously chewing it like it’s Hubba Bubba. Along with the abalone slices, the fettuccine is cooked perfectly with just the right amount of bite.

Huh, defintiely not my best photo. Can I try that again?

The linguine reminded me oddly enough of instant Mi Goreng. You’ve got the crunchy breadcrumbs, burnt garlic, the chilli and the smell is reminiscent of my HSC year where Mi Goreng was all I ate.

You’re not going to believe this but my parents were really disappointed with my results.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macaroni

Hey Macaroni!

Sorry, I just really wanted to look up the Hey Macarena lyrics and spend 15 minutes singing it to myself with a thick Spanish accent.

I really liked this macaroni, I wanted to make up a story about how it was terrible but I can’t justify talking some fake smac. So rich, satisfying and had the perfect amount of nostalgia. The elbow macaroni is prepared in the style of a Filipino sisig which adds an element of sourness which is just sublime. Love the crunchy pork bits scattered throughout and the egg stroke is a yolk of genius.

Black sesame and matcha turned out to be the perfect….matcha.

I did not expect how authentic the flavours would be with this dessert. The sesame ice cream is incredibly creamy and the roasted sesame flavour is intense. The matcha cake is soft and the matcha powder coating is really bitter which made a matcha aficionado like myself giggle with glee.

There’ll definitely be a rematcha with Acme and myself; I guarantee it.

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Here’s the TL;DR for everyone that misses saying “Hey, you should ac-me on MySpace.”

– For the record, I still read up on Magic the Gathering….I should buy more novels.

– My favourite dishes were….wow, everything I ordered. Doing our homework paid off.

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Acme, Rushcutters Bay

60 Bayswater Road, Rushcutters Bay

Opening Hours:

Tuesday – Saturday: 6:00pm to 10:30pm

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