Confession: I once thought that Transformers was the greatest movie ever made.

I emerged from the Megan Fox/explosion fest thinking I had just witnessed cinematic history. I was young, but I wasn’t THAT young. My only defense is this, there were robots duking it out, and Megan Fox is a god damned fox and my body wasn’t ready for someone that striking.

My love for the Otto-bots vs Decepticons was ottomatic.

You know what else has triggered this sense of ottomatic love? The food at Otto Ristorante.

Otto Ristorante is a modern Italian restaurant located on a majestic wharf straight out of a postcard in Wooloomooloo (for everyone still playing Pokemon Go, this is a fantastic spot to farm  Magikarp).

There’s just a great atmosphere at the restaurant. Maybe it’s the gorgeous view that you can soak in, maybe it’s the fact that the staff treat you like a neighbour and friend or maybe it’s the fantastic food.

Maybe it’s all of the above (ok, it’s all of the above).

The Otto menu refers to the insalata di mare as a salad so you can imagine how tempered my expectations were. Then a plate of delicious seafood topped with a squid ink cracker was placed in front of me and I immediately started questioning all of the salads I’ve ever had in my life.

Chunks of seafood coated in citrus that enhanced the individual brilliance of the prawns, octopus, calamari and salmon. It’s like having a talented team at work led by a manager that knows exactly what buttons to press to bring the best out of everyone.

This salad definitely pushed my buttons if you know what I mean.

The presentation of the Granchio is super picturesque as the soft crab meat and friends is served within the shell on top of a bed of ice. Its pretty looks are backed with substance. The crab meat is creamy, fresh and supported brilliantly by the cucumber and salty pop of the salmon roe.

You’ll definitely want to roe your boat and park it on the wharf to have this dish again.

Look at all of the ingredients that go into this dish: moreton bay bugs, cherry tomatoes, lemon oil and some saffron too? God damn. However, anyone can dump premium ingredients into a blender and end up with a smoothie….I want a smooth dining experience and the bucatini is exactly that.

There’s a burst quality with this plate of pasta; the juicy tomatoes burst, the pasta bursts with lemon zest, the moreton bay bugs burst with flavour and this sentence bursts with all the formal writing training I never received.

I’ll be bugging all of my friends to return for this plate of pasta.

I was super full but there was no way I was leaving without sampling a dessert.

The tropicana caught my eye due to the lychee sorbet being on the marquee and it proved to be one of the better dining decisions I’ve made in recent memory. The flattened brandy snaps house the sweetness of the fruit infused mousses, sauces and curds and every bite is uniquely different depending on which condiment you happen to scoop more of. It’s incredibly dynamic and akin to going to the same club but having a different experience every time due to the different music every night.

Yes, this is the closest I’ve come to clubbing in five years.

Here’s the TL;DR for everyone who expected me to come up with a sh*tty m-otto or make a joke about the Otto being an otto-matic choice for your next date:

• You’ll want to book or go super early, Otto gets busy really quick.
• What’s my favourite soccer team? The Tottonam Spurs of course.
• I can’t wait to seafood like this again, I’ll be back soon.

***

Otto Ristorante, Wooloomooloo

Area 8, 6 Cowper Wharf Road

Opening Hours:

Monday – Sunday: 12pm to 10:30pm