My mother and aunt (also known as my main readership) asked me why I didn’t write as much in 2017. I told them I didn’t want to force it when I wasn’t feeling in particularly good writing form as I much rather write well in short bursts than fart out subpar posts over a sustained period.

That was last year though, I’m like Austin Powers at the end of The Spy Who Shagged Me; I’ve got my mojo back.

And I might’ve borrowed a little bit of White Mojo from White Mojo in Melbourne.

White Mojo is located in Hardware Lane deep inside the heart of Melbourne’s lovely CBD, located a stone’s throw away from Hardware Societe and it’s evergrowing queue; it might secretly be the tastiest cafe in the area.

Let’s do a deeper dive into its menu.

Someone told me I should watch Black Swan if I had any downtime in Melbourne, I just want to let my friend know that I ordered a Black Swan from White Mojo and thought it was awesome. I didn’t get to see Natalie Portman make it but her performance as a barista was definitely awesome.

The smoked salmon tartare arrived out of a literal puff of smoke and teleported into my hall of fame of breakfast dishes. Spicy, smokey, rich and creamy; this is a breakfast dish that has its sh*t together first thing in the morning.

This is the type of dish that wakes up at 4, gets a workout in, does some reading, gets ahead of their workweek and makes you feel woefully inadequate by the time you roll out of bed at 9 and they’re already preparing for dinner.

This is not 2 sesame seed buns, 100% Australian beef patties, iceberg lettuce, cheese and special sauce but I’m sure Ronald will let it slide.

Instead, you get one of the flakiest croissants I’ve ever had the pleasure of tearing apart with the most delightful mac and cheese. This isn’t Kraft mac and cheese, but mac and cheese that you can only make if you’re a master of your craft. Also, special shout out to the amazing pork belly bacon; a signature ingredient of White Mojo that I would put in everything from salads to fried rice to in the shower with me.

Pure indulgence on a plate, I’m loving it.

Here’s the TL;DR for everyone else who thinks Mojo Jojo was an underrated villain:

• Smoked salmon tartare is an absolute must eat if you’re in Melbourne, enjoy the smokey nature and don’t let it pull a smokebomb in your life.
• Excellent coffee, food and an opportunity to make Austin Powers jokes, White Mojo is shagadelic baby, yeah!

****

White Mojo, Melbourne

Opening Hours:

Monday – Friday: 7:00 am – 4:00 pm

Saturday – Sunday: 8:00 am – 5:00 pm