Some of you may already know that I was a little on the chubby side when I was younger. What I haven’t told all of you is that I also lacked co-ordination. In other words, I fell over a lot. My playtime at school didn’t help the matter as I loved to play handball and tag every recess and lunch.
My clumsiness resulted in a lot of boo boos on my knee and a lot of wear and tear on my school pants. Eventually my mother got tired of constantly buying me new pairs and just stitched the holes up with cool patches she’d find. I once rocked a pair of grey school pants with a crocodile patch affixed onto my right knee.
My mother has always been my seamstress.
I thought that tangent was somewhat viable for the following review.
Where’d I go? I went to Stitch Bar in Town Hall.
Unless you know where it is, Stitch Bar proves to be rather hard to find. Located on York Street in Sydney’s CBD, it is a hidden gem that has been racking up widespread acclaim for creative cocktails and delicious burgers. It’s located downstairs and has a very cool and edgy atmosphere. Though it’s dimly lit, every table has access to a candle and it would be a lovely place to go to even if you weren’t a burger fiend like myself.
I went with a couple of very co-ordinated friends and the meal might have been the best since I commenced my iFat career. I had just returned from my trip to Melbourne and the slightly underwhelming trip to Merrywell and was keen to make up for it.
Let’s start with my burger. Oh my what a burger it was.
First of all, yes those are curly fries. They weren’t incredibly curly but they still deserve to be called slightly askewed fries. The fact that they tasted great (garnished with chili salt) made me quickly forget about the fact that they looked more like normal fries than the curly tail of a pig.
Speaking of animals that oink; every burger establishment worthy of note offers you the choice to add bacon to your burger. However, the downside to this is that a lot of places use sub-par bacon that lacks the smoky flavour and crisp texture that the best bacon offers. Stitch Bar’s famous BLT burger does not offer flimsy bacon. It offers the finest bacon I’ve ever had encased in two burger buns and it formed an electric combination with its roommates. The patty was incredibly tasty and I was in absolute awe.
I’m not if it’s because I had just recently had a disappointing burger but I distinctly remember thinking that the burger might’ve been the best I’ve ever had. It’s been two days and my stance on the issue hasn’t wavered. The synergy displayed by the contents of the burger was reminiscent of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen during the Chicago Bulls’ heyday; an absolutely winning combination at their absolute apex.
You know what I am very fond of? Sandwiches.
You know what else I’m very fond of? Ice cream.
You know what Stitch Bar offers? Ice cream sandwiches.
I’ve actually been on an ice cream ban for close to two months so dessert felt like Christmas and Chinese New Year overlapping. Imagine a giant Oreo with ice cream in the middle that you have absolutely no intention of taking your time with. No twisting and licking when this is in front of you, you just go in and enjoy the experience.
Here comes the lightning round featuring what my buddies ordered:
I honestly want to order the veggie burger for myself next time. It was amazing and would make even the most aggressive carnivore consider switching. Side note: I love rocket on anything. Add rocket to a meat lover’s pizza and you’ve got a winner.
The hot dog was also divine. I’ve actually never tried truffle anything before and the sauce added a kick that I haven’t sampled since I fell onto someone’s leg during a soccer match in my youth.
Here’s the TL; DR for everyone who just wanted to look at photos:
- I still fall over on occasion
- Stitch Bar might be home to the best burger in Sydney
- Slightly askewed fries still taste slightly better than straight fries
- Ice cream sandwiches might have medicinal properties.
Stitch Bar, Town Hall
61 York Street, Sydney NSW
Monday 4:00 pm – 12:00 am
Tuesday 4:00 pm – 12:00 am
Wednesday 4:00 pm – 12:00 am
Thursda y12:00 pm – 2:00 am
Friday 12:00 pm – 2:00 am
Saturday 4:00 pm – 2:00 am
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