It’s been a long time coming.

McDonalds and I go way back. It’s a huge reason as to why I’m iFat and not iStayInDecentShape

This was supposed to be the place I went to for my one hundredth review. Olde faithful, yee old McDonald (without a farm) but things kept popping up. You’re not going to believe this but my female best friend kept cancelling on me, who’s ever heard of a girl refusing to go to McDonalds.

I still think it’s the ultimate date spot.

So let me take you on a McDate to McDonalds Castle Hill, home to the McDonalds Create Your Taste Burger experiment:

With competition in the burger sphere fiercer than ever; the original McBenchmark has tried a number of different initiatives to remain relevant and to McSnatch its share of the market back. The “Create Your Own Burger” Initiative (man, I’d watch that movie) allows customers to er…customise their burgers.

The process of picking your own components is seriously fun. We’ve all been to restaurants that let you order from touchpads and were really confused as to how we spend upwards of four digits on a single meal (there was this one time where I went out with the guys to a certain Japanese restaurant with touchpads and we ended up ordering fries four times).

There were a tonne of ingredients that you just didn’t think McDonalds would have on offer (guacamole, brioche buns, aioli) as well as old favourites like American cheese, Big Mac sauce, McChicken sauce (aka crack).

The biggest criticism I had with the selection process was that there was only one patty to choose from (angus beef). Come on, man. I want chicken, I want “fish,” I want more choices than just beef.

I had major beef with that. I was still annoyed when I sat down at my table.

Then the MciFat arrived and I pulled a bigger 180 than when you go from being a single guy laughing at a song about stealing girlfriends to being a guy in a relationship that’s terrified about single guys who listen to those types of songs:

I never believed in love at first sight but now I’m not so sure. You can’t help but fall in love with seeing something you created look so awesome. I imagine this is exactly how my parents feel whenever I do something awesome. Admittedly, I was not as intimately involved in the creation process of this burger and that I merely picked the components I wanted but still. Isn’t that sort of what parenthood sort of entails? You seek out a partner based on qualities you find attractive and hope to the holy figure you choose to believe in that your offspring will inherit all of the good things.

Yeah, that was a bit of a stretch. My bad. I’m entitled to a few bad ones after over a hundred posts.

The MciFat was way better than it had any right to be. The patty was a bit dry and lacked flavour (typical of a McDonalds beef patty) but the accompanying condiments and ingredients were surprisingly good. The brioche buns were fluffy, buttery and would not have been out of place at a bakery or even a restaurant. The mayonnaise was very creamy and tied everything together. The weakest point were the mushrooms which were diced and could barely be tasted at all.

Oh sh*t, I should probably talk about the presentation:

Spoiler alert: I don’t care about presentation. I only ever really care about how my food tastes and not how it looks. When I was younger and even more kitchen-impaired, one of my favourite recipes was something I liked to call “ghetto sushi.” All it involved was ripping up small pieces of seasoned seaweed, slapping some rice and tuna in between and then shoving it in my mouth with the utmost glee.

The point is…..you can dress Honey Boo Boo in Dolce and Gabanna, give her an LV clutch, have her hair styled by whoever kept Will Smith’s 90s flattop in killer condition. She’s still f*cking Honey Boo Boo.

Here’s the TL;DR for everyone who McLoves reading iFat (all three of you).

– My three favourite McDonalds related stories? The time I was 5c short of a McValue meal and had to go home to grab it, the time I waited for four hours for a girl to show up only to realise I was in the wrong McDonalds and also the time I came to the conclusion that one of my buddies wanted to ask my crush out as I was eating a McFlurry at 2am in the morning.

– You can tell I really wanted to write about this place huh? Heh.

– Overall, the create your own burger initiative is a lot of fun but I’m not sure if it’ll draw in much of a crowd. McLovers like myself know we shouldn’t be at McDonalds, the shame is a Maccas staple like the Big mac and soft serve. It’s a quick and cheap pleasure that I will love until I can’t fit into size 42 waist pants anymore.

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McDonalds Castle Hill

3 Showground Road, Castle Hill

Open 24 Hours

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