Once upon a time, I was in a doomed relationship. There were many signs throughout the tenure that hinted at our inevitable demise but one particular moment made it a bit more obvious than anything.

We were walking along the street hand in hand. All of a sudden, she pulled away and sprinted off in the opposite direction without a word. I had never seen anyone move that fast outside of Usain Bolt’s performance at the Beijing Olympics. I noticed a middle aged woman looking at me but I didn’t think much of it (older chicks dig the iFat).

I caught up to road runner and asked her what happened. She said she spotted her mother and just bolted. She said she was embarrassed to be seen in public hand in hand with a guy.

All I heard was:

“You’re so embarrassing.”

“You’re so mbassing.”

Wait…did she mean she wanted me to take her to Local Mbassy in Ultimo?

Located near Wentworth Park in Ultimo, Local Mbassy is one of the newest additions to the Sydney cafe scene. I don’t normally comment on the interior of establishments (I’m more concerned with what they establish for the interior of my stomach) but Local Mbassy just has a really cool vibe with exposed pipes as well as pedals on your chairs (yeah, you read that right).

Alright, let’s get the music pumping and get the (m)bass going

First up is breakfast:

This is not a light breakfast but it is a breakfast that can make you light up.

Stand out components of this big breakfast were definitely the poached eggs with soft whites and gooey yolks just ready to pop out like yellow, liquid jack in the boxes. The bacon was also fried pretty well and let’s face it, it’s incredibly hard to ruin bacon unless your mission statement is to sabotage bacon (in which case, please leave my blog and never come back).

Bacon and eggs in a sweet paprika sauce? Count me in, consider my shak shuk.

I really enjoyed the flavours within this pot. It’s served piping hot with a couple slices of bread that you can use to soak up the sauce and runny egg yolk. Fans of baked beans will be delighted to know that there is an incredibly generous serving of beans in this dish.

Seriously, there’s so many beans in there that I was half expecting Jack to burst through the door and steal them from me in the hopes of one of them being able to sprout a beanstalk. You’re probably thinking: “what are the odds of that?”

Dude, there were a million beans. I’m positive I ingested one that could sprout a massive bean stalk.

Yes, yes I did order the vegetarian option with sausages on the side. This was mainly because I wanted to try the version without beans.

PLOT TWIST! This one had beans too.

My first reaction was: “whoops, bean there done that.”

My second reaction (upon trying it): “This shakshuka is as fine as Lindsay Lohan was in Bean Girls.”

Though it subbed bacon with eggplant zucchini, the presence of eggplant and the potato rosti made this version almost heartier than the meat version. The sauce is also really nice and I loved the chunks of tomato swimming in the sea of beans.

Sometimes I wonder how many people I’ve lost over the years with my bad photos, poor jokes and long winding analogies. Then I remember that it’s not productive to focus on the people who are scone and that it’s better to focus on the people that are still here.

Speaking of scones, Local Mbassy serves their eggs benedict on delightful homemade scones! I actually thought this was genius as the sturdy base that scones provide are perfect for soaking up sauce and egg yolk. The crumbling nature of the pastry also goes beautifully with the smoky salmon and other aspects of the dish.

Yeah, these pancakes have been all over your Instagram feed but are they worthy for you to be feeding upon?

I’ve had these bad boys twice so I could better formulate my opinion on them.  The staff have been very receptive to early feedback as they’re still a new establishment and are working on improving their trade.

The initial batch of pancakes I had were quite thin but the second iteration were a lot fluffier and I definitely enjoyed them some more the second time around. I would love a remixed version where you could sub all the cream with ice cream but that’s more personal taste than a valid criticism. The flavour of the pancakes are great and I love the fresh berries that swim in the pools of cream on the pancakes.

Seriously though, these pancakes pan cake you happy.

Heh.

Here’s the TL;DR for everyone who thinks that my ex made the right decision:

– Local Mbassy has made an mbatic entry into the scene and looks like its here to stay.

– The only baked beans I like are Mr Bean shaped cakes.

– No matter what you’ve red about them, the pancakes are even better in your mouth

Local Mbassy, Ultimo

310 Wattle Street

Opening Hours:

Monday – Friday: 7am to 4pm

Saturday & Sunday: 8am to 4pm

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