Here’s something I just realised about myself; I’m a little bit of a hoarder.

No, I’m not Hodor; I’m a hoarder. I still have really random possessions from weird chapters in my life. There’s the orange scarf from the time I tried my hand at cosplay (this will be the only time I ever talk about that), there’s the bag of goodies I got from work all emblazoned with the Footloose logo from the 2011 remake of the 80s dance classic, oh and there’s the heaping stack of criminal law notes and accompanying textbook that I may have skimmed about a handful of times during my 4.5 years of higher education.

You know what textbook I’d love to dive into again? Textbook Boulangerie-Patisserie in Alexandria.

One of the newest kids on the block, Textbook Boulangerie-Patisserie in Alexandria brings a lot to the table with vibrant cakes, stuffed sandwiches, awesome pies as well as their take on some breakfast classics.

I’ll dive into those cakes soon.

However, I’m starting with a classic breakfast item so let’s croiss that bridge when we get there.

Ahhh the croissant. It’s been a while since I’ve had the humble croissant without it being fused with a donut or a muffin. I don’t even remember what’s good about it being by itself, it’s like whenever I see Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child. C’mon Michelle, release a song with Kelly and Beyonce!

Then I remembered.

The flakiness of the pastry, the buttery infused fluff of the inside and the joy of washing each bite down with some nice coffee.

I’m sorry, Michelle. I forgot that you’re a survivor and that you don’t need other people to pay your bills.

Chick this baby out.

I had my Pie Face on so I stuck my face into the pie and didn’t emerge until it had been completely devoured. You ever have a dodgy chicken pie where it was just stuffed with frozen peas, bad carrots (like the wedding ring I give to my future ex wife) and unidentified mince posing as chicken?

This was not one of those pies.

Delicious, crusty pastry which encased a generous amount of chicken, mushroom and topped off with the scent of one of nature’s finest products in the form of truffle. You can taste its influence with every bite of the pie and it’s just so ridiculously good that I kept saying “this is ridiculously good” with every bite.

Seriously, this is ridiculously good.

In case you haven’t noticed, I really like my eggs baked.

Served in a vibrant red pot with a side of toast, these baked eggs were just b-egging for me to consume them with gusto. Which is why I blasted through the dish like a gusto of wind, actually, It was kind of degustoing just watching me swallow the eggs, chorizo, pot and board all in one sweeping motion.

On a completely unrelated note, a lot of my dining buddies don’t return my calls anymore.

I don’t éclair how much you’ve had to meet, you have to sample Textbook’s chocolate éclair.

Chocolate lovers will be teleported into their happy place with each bite as the rich chocolate swirls around your mouth and tongue.

I would love to talk about this from a place of knowledge but Helen from Grab Your Fork already covered it in such painstaking detail that it’d be folly to even attempt that. I enjoyed how rich and creamy the white chocolate was. It wasn’t obscenely sweet and went well with the sliver of mango hidden in the centre.

Again, there are some obviously sophisticated techniques in play here but I’m going to break it down for my fellow laymen. The apple mousse served as a gooey outer shell for the poached cinnamon apple within that was very reminiscent of the innards of a McApple pie (talk smack all you want about the golden arches but that apple pie is still a game changer). Oh and the crumble at the bottom made me weak at the knees that the gusto of wind from the baked eggs paragraph would’ve blown me away.

Just like this apple crumble and all of Textbook Boulangerie-Patisserie’s other offerings.

Here’s the TL;DR for everyone else who looked for PDFs of their textbooks instead of buying them from co-op:

– Who reads anymore? I asked her what books she liked and she said Facebook.

– When you have Boulangerie in your name, your croissant better be good. Textbook’s wasn’t good, it was great. I took more notes here than I did throughout my entire senior year of high school.

– The pie and pastries of Textbook Boulangerie-Patisserie are the apples of my pie.

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Textbook Boulangerie-Patisserie, Alexandria

274 Botany Road, Alexandria, Sydney

Opening Hours:

Closed Monday

Tuesday – Satuday: 7:00am to 4:30

Sunday: 7:00am to 2:00pm

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